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Cat Shoots Owner With 9mm Handgun!


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#1 Walter63a

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Posted 10 March 2005 - 10:42 AM

http://www.foxnews.c...,150007,00.html

I NEVER DID TRUST THAT CAT. unsure.gif blink.gif MAYBE THEY SHOULD BE REGISTERED OR BANNED!! laugh.gif laugh.gif
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#2 giantpanda4

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Posted 10 March 2005 - 11:34 AM

You gotta love those Youpers.

Heard they have been sighting BIG cats up there lately, maybe this is one of them! biggrin.gif
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#3 Z3BigDaddy

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Posted 10 March 2005 - 01:17 PM

Maybe the cat works for the DEA?? ph34r.gif
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#4 Walter63a

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Posted 10 March 2005 - 08:46 PM

user posted image

"Officer, I tell you, it wasn't me," said the nice kitty.
"Well, what can you tell me? I need names!" quoth the lawman.
"Maybe my cousin, up there in that window, can tell you something. He's always going on and on about there being so many humans and so little time. Then he meows in a very funny tone," replied kitty.
"Alright, freeze scumbag!"

user posted image
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#5 Sgt

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Posted 11 March 2005 - 12:32 PM

Was the cat's name Toonzes? He was arrested for a drive-by shooting, but they couldn't get a conviction. I wonder if Feinstein will petition cats to be banned.
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#6 ACARLG

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Posted 11 March 2005 - 03:07 PM

His owner probably tried this:

HOW TO CLEAN YOUR TOILET
Or your cat. Works both ways.

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of
pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him
towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet
and close both lids. You may need to stand on the
lid.
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds.
Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the
cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This
provides a "power-wash" and rinse".
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be
sure that there are no people between the bathroom and
the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and
quickly lift both lids.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak
through the bathroom, and run outside where he will
dry himself off.
9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling
clean.
Sincerely,

The Dog

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#7 Z3BigDaddy

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Posted 11 March 2005 - 03:44 PM

ROTFLMAO!! I stole this and posted to my car board... I know I'll catch heck from the cat people, but wth, it's funny!
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#8 Sgt

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Posted 11 March 2005 - 03:47 PM

biggrin.gif biggrin.gif biggrin.gif laugh.gif
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#9 Walter63a

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Posted 11 March 2005 - 03:50 PM

ACARLG, that is laugh-out-loud funny as hell!!! biggrin.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif
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#10 full auto 45

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Posted 11 March 2005 - 08:02 PM

It kind of starts this way doesn't it?

HOW TO CLEAN YOUR TOILET
Or your cat. Works both ways.

user posted image
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#11 catnipman

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Posted 13 March 2005 - 11:01 PM

I finally have a signature!
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#12 Walter63a

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Posted 14 March 2005 - 04:17 AM

user posted image

"Aye, clean I may be, but revenge is a bitch!!! Purrr...purr...purfect!!!"
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#13 Poprivit

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Posted 15 March 2005 - 02:28 PM

I love cats.
I've just never been able to finish a whole one! laugh.gif
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#14 Walter63a

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Posted 18 March 2005 - 05:58 AM

Poprivit, they also now come in tender bite-size morsels, but they can have the adverse side-effect of coughing, wheezing and occassional furballs! blink.gif laugh.gif
user posted image

They're great in hot chocolate too! biggrin.gif laugh.gif
user posted image

The critters don't seem too concerned, because...well, they're on...catnip!

http://www.cutefunny...hingkitty.shtml
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#15 ACARLG

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Posted 09 April 2005 - 03:05 PM

Family Memo To The Dog and Cat:
>>
>> 1. When I say move, it means go someplace else. It does not mean switch
>> positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
>>
>> 2. The dishes on the floor are yours and contain your food. All other
>> dishes are mine and contain my food. (Please note: placing a paw print in
>> the middle of my dinner does not stake your claim on it, nor do I find it
>> aesthetically pleasing in any way.)
>>
>> 3. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
> Beating
>> me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
> fall
>> faster than you can run.
>>
>> 4. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. Locate your inner
>> beast and remember that sleeping animals can actually curl up in a ball,
> so
>> it is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out
>> to
>> the fullest extent possible.
>>
>> 5. My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
>>
>> 6. For the last time, humans like to use the bathroom alone. If by some
>> miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it won't help
>> to
>> claw, whine, meow, bite the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try
> to
>> pull the door open. (Trust
>> me, I have been using the bathroom for years...canine or feline
>> attendance
>> is not mandatory.)
>>
>> 7. When you see me asleep on the couch, it is not funny to make a
>> sudden
>> leap onto my stomach and drop a chew toy, bone or jingle ball on my
> crotch,
>> no matter how much that makes other family members laugh.
>>
>> 8. Dog: Don't think for a minute that making a sad face and whimpering
>> pathetically will get you out of trouble when I find a puddle of pee on
> the
>> carpet. The face and the whimpering only validate that you knew it was
> wrong
>> when you did it.
>>
>> 9. Cat: My sitting down to bite into a juicy sandwich is not a signal
> for
>> you to begin gagging loudly and then hocking up the most disgusting
> hairball
>> in history.
>>
>> 10. Dog and Cat: The proper order is kiss me, then go lick yourself. I
>> cannot stress this enough. To pacify you I have posted the following
>> message on our front door:

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